Watching You Sleep
by shirosunday
Summary: L is wondering why he likes watching Raito sleep - A drabble on L's thoughts and density on his own feelings :


**Title: Watching You Sleep**

Disclaimer: I own nothing! TT

**A/N:** _They say that you really love someone when you're content to just watch them sleep_. Dunno where I got that or who said it, but I just thought about it and here's a drabble… a long drabble. I hope y'all enjoy reading it.

_**Sunday**_

……………………………

I'm watching you sleep.

I should be working… But some time ago, you groaned and I felt the chain between us tug just a little bit. There was the sound of skin grazing against cloth, which lead me to guess you had turned over in your sleep.

True enough, when I peeked up from the floor where I had been sitting for the past three hours or so, you were now on your side rather than on your back when you went to sleep.

You're shirtless. It was a warm night and the covers were underneath you. I had a very good close-up view of your back, seeing as I'm just beside the bed. It was smooth and toned. Your back that is. Shadows lined your skin indicating the dips and crevices of muscles and bones that give you your shape. I wondered if you exercised. When I had installed the cameras in your house and had you followed, there was never a report of you jogging or doing anything of the sort. I suppose you're just one of those people that seemed to have the perfect metabolism that just kept you from getting fat, whatever you eat and lack of physical activity thereof. Although, I have noticed you ate quite healthy foods like salads, fish, whole grain bread and the like. Maybe it could also be the typical Japanese diet that didn't really need a lot of cooking in oil, and consisted predominantly of seafood. Your skin had a healthy golden hue to it, another evidence of a good healthy diet. Since I predominantly ate sugar and hardly got out of the sun, my color was pallid at best, dead-looking at worst, or so I supposed. That's how Whammy describes me at least.

"Hhnn…"

You squirm a bit and I realize I had been staring at you for a good long while… I should let you sleep. We've been working for almost 72 hours straight. I'm used to it and could last another 24 or so, but you're not. I want to growl with boredom. I want play some music at least, but I feel like I should be more charitable to you tonight. You're a light sleeper after all, no pun intended. I sigh and turn my attention back to the laptop. I have around ten windows open and simultaneously working on. One was the security cameras all over the building, which I click to maximize and proceed to check. Misa is in her room, sleeping, snuggled beside her pillow which she is hugging quite protectively. Matsuda is sprawled on his bed, near falling off, mouth open. Mogi is asleep as well, his back to the camera, under a thin blanket. I click and type in a few keyboard commands and more or less scan the entire facility for anything strange. Not that I'm worried or anything, since I did install the best security equipment currently available, and not available somewhat. The only person who could break in would probably be Wedy, but then I know where she is at the moment, though of course, not her exact location since I see no need for the knowledge. I **could** find out if I wanted to, but really, I'm not interested.

After making sure that everything was secure, I minimize that window and open another, a forum on Kira. I had been following the thread for a good while now. I click the refresh button for the one hundred sixty-eighth time and see that a new entry had been loaded. It is a reply to the previous comment. Just drabble, nothing important. How typical.

I go to another window and inspect another internet site. This one was a page worshipping Kira. I know who the creator of the homepage is. I tracked him down and discovered he was no more than a University student, probably with nothing better to do. I didn't really need to find out who he was, but then for lack of any better leads and anything better to do then, I just went ahead. I **do** have a state of the art hacking program. Of course, one still has to be quite talented to be able to utilize it to its full potential. _Light-kun certainly has that…_

Clink. Clink.

Well, speak… or rather _think_ of the devil. You were moving again and this time turned fully around so that you were now facing me. I look at your face and your lips were slightly parted. I couldn't see your teeth, but I knew they were white. Very white. Good enough for a toothpaste ad. Why didn't you become a model, I wonder? I suppose because it's a rather shallow occupation. You'd rather think than look pretty, I know, but still you keep up the grooming. I smile a little. Your hair is a little messed up from the pillow, and then I notice that your skin was a little shiny from underneath your bangs. Without really meaning to, I move closer and then I could feel your heat from a small distance away. Was it really that warm in the room? Taking my mind of… well… thinking I suppose, I realize that it IS rather warm.

I tentatively… absently, for I'm not really paying attention to what my hand is doing… reach out to touch you and lightly brush my fingertips over your jaw, then to your ear, gently getting your auburn hair out of your cheek. You let out a deep breath, almost a sigh as I do this, and once again I feel the urge to do _that._

I pull my hand away. I should turn the air-conditioning up a bit. I'm feeling rather warm myself now that I've realized the temperature. I consider my options, but I already know what I should do. The thermostat is only in the next room after all. I reach into my deep pockets and take out the key. I unlock my cuff and placed it gently on the carpet. When I reach the door, I slowly open it and turn around to look at you before I go. Not that you could escape in the few moments I'm away. The only course would be to jump out the window, and I highly doubt that you, Light-kun or Kira, would do such a stupid thing. You'd make a mess falling from the fourteenth, well actually thirteenth floor. You're still on your side, left arm bent beside you and your right hand hanging limply from your wrist on the edge of the bed. Your chest is heaving rhythmically. You're still asleep.

I walk out to the kitchen where all the dials and knobs were and turned the thermostat down a few degrees. After that, I eye the refrigerator and consider having a midnight snack. I look at the wall clock and isn't that just appropriate? It's just a quarter past twelve. You're probably knocked out so it wouldn't hurt to eat a little now would it?

After a few minutes, I have nearly finished a large slice of delicious French Apple Pie that Whammy had prepared for me earlier. It was still warm from the microwave, and had it not been too hot earlier, I would've consumed every morsel by now. I run various pieces of information in my head: the current reports from the team, news in the past 24 hours, updates on the websites, statistics, numbers, dates… all the recent information on Kira, but nothing is standing out. I sigh and take a sip from my fine China tea cup and absently roll my tongue on the roof of my mouth as I feel the sugar granules melt away. Then I hear a familiar clinking…

I look to the source of the sound, and sure enough you are standing at the doorway of our bedroom, your right hand rubbing your left arm, up and down.

"Ryuuzaki?" you call out in a soft hoarse voice.

"Light-kun should go back to sleep. He has only had approximately three hours of rest," I say.

You blink at me, and I see that your eyes are mere slits and you were near scowling. You've not fully woken yet.

"It's cold…" you mumble.

I quickly eat the last piece of apple pie on my platter, and unfolded myself to the floor. I walk towards you as you just stand there, slightly shivering. I grab you shoulders to turn you back to the room, but hesitate, realizing that your skin was cold. I look at your face and see that it's flushed.

"How do you feel, Light-kun?"

"Cold…"

I take my hands to cup your jaws and make your head lift slightly. You don't resist. I lean in closer and touch my forehead to yours. It's warmer than normal.

"I think Light-kun is catching a fever."

You mumble something incoherent.

"Come, Light-kun should go back to bed."

You nod and slowly turn as you wrap your arms around your torso, gasping as the chain hit your bare flesh. It was a small sound, but I noticed.

When we reach the bed you begin to bend down to turn down the covers, but I beat you to it. I walk around you and pull the soft material down the bed, making enough space for you to crawl into. I don't know why I did it. You mumble thanks and slowly slip in. I sit on the edge and you move a bit to make space for me.

"Are you thirsty?" I ask, the question unbidden. For some reason, I'm doing a lot of involuntary gestures tonight.

You look at me and nod a little. I step back into the kitchen to get a glass of water for you. I put my dirty dishes in the sink and run water over them, just to get most of the dirt off. A slob I may be, but I know my way around the house if it suits me. I grab a glass and take purified distilled water from the dispenser in the edge of the counter. 

The tap water is safe enough, but I've noticed that distilled water goes down smoother down the throat… or maybe it's just me being too observant. It doesn't really matter. Glass filled; I go back inside our room.

I sit on the edge of the bed again as you sit up and reach out for the glass. I give it to you, and you drink it straight without stopping, breathing into the glass as you gulp down. Finished you let out the classic "Ahh…" mostly associated with Coca-Cola commercials, or any other soda for that matter. I take the glass and put it on the bedside table as you lie back down and curl up into a ball, wrapping the comforter around yourself.

I suppose you **are** sick… You wouldn't normally be so… meek, even if you were tired. You'd still have that look of defiance and/or determination in your eyes. Perhaps it was the long hours and lack of sleep, then the sudden change of temperature. Is it my fault then? Nonsense. Long hours? You knew that was coming. You said you said you wanted us to get Kira together, and that entailed work. A lot of work. If you can't keep up with my schedule, it's isn't my fault now is it? After all, I've adjusted my schedule to you haven't I? No, it isn't my fault.

You're shivering.

I raise my hand to my mouth and bite my thumb. Damn. This is serious. There's medicine in the first aid kit in the bathroom, but those medications needed for you to eat first before taking them. It wouldn't kill you if you took them without eating of course, but…

"Light-kun?"

You open your eyes slightly.

"Would Light-kun like some medicine?"

You shake your head, closing your eyes again. "I just need to sleep it off, Ryuuzaki," you whisper, "I'll be fine in the morning."

I accept that. I was never one for medicine. They tend to dull the mind and leave you lethargic even hours after the dosage supposedly wore off. Seeing as you're now dozing off, I soundlessly take my end of the cuff and manacle it back to my wrist. I'm sure you notice, but I suppose you don't care. I just watch you… and for some reason, I'm content just doing that. I hear the buzz of my laptop on the floor, and I really should get back to work… but I'm comfortable… and I feel like lying down. So I do. I lie down next to you.

I think you're still awake because you scoot a little to your right, making space for me on the bed. You're lying facing towards me and I can see your expression clearly. Your brow is creased a little. You must have a head ache. I reach out with my two fingers and caress your forehead, smoothing out the furrow ever so slightly.

"Hmm…" you sigh.

I run my fingers in your hair, putting slight pressure. Soon, you're breathing deeply and your breath comes out slightly from your parted lips. My fingers leave your hair and drift down to your mouth, hovering over it. I feel your warmth on my finger tips. Somehow I feel intrigued, but by what I don't know.

You are Kira, aren't you? All the evidence points to that. As do my instincts and they are hardly ever wrong. Indeed, I can't remember a time they have failed me. But right now… No, ever since the week after your confinement, you've been… just not the picture I would envision in the profile of Kira. Light Yagami, model student, popular, attractive, genius… brilliant. That is what you are to me at the moment. There are a few negative traits of course… No one can be utterly perfect. I think back to our discussion before about Kira's powers being able to pass on to other people. I think you planned to have it transferred, Light-kun. I do not think it would be your nature to give up something like that. Will you be Kira again?

You stir and cuddle closer to me, unknowingly to you. I let you. Now your face is mere inches… centimeters from mine. If I wanted to I could kiss you. You're really close. I'm breathing in what you breathe out. An appalling thought, but I don't turn or move away. I don't move at all.

**Light Yagami**. You're my first and only true friend. That is a fact. That is the truth. I suppose that makes you my best friend as well. I like talking to you, since I don't need to explain myself, being on the same frequency most of the time. I like quarrelling with you because it makes me actually think instead of monotonously repeating the same argument, just in different sentence structures and words, like I do with most people. I even like fighting, physically, with you, since it just lets my stress out. I can't beat Whammy up, now could I?

What I can't understand is why I like watching you. Like right now as you sleep. Do friends do that? I should be working, but I can't help myself. Is it because you're beautiful? I admit, you are a very attractive person, but I don't overly think you are irresistible. I don't really swing that way… at least I don't think so… How you look 

doesn't matter to me. Is it because I'm waiting you to slip up, maybe talk in your sleep, and prove you are Kira? Hmm… that's more logical. Is it that? Somehow, I'm not a hundred percent convinced. Perhaps its part that. But what else? Why do I like watching you, especially when you sleep? I've done it every time we go to bed. Sometimes it's only for a few minutes, sometimes it turns into hours. _Why?_ It **must** be because of Kira, right?

I shift and sit up to my usual crouch. I need to think. Well, right?... My mind pulls out a blank card.

This is frustrating me. The answer will come to me in time, I'm sure. But for now, I should work! WORK! I sigh and take one last look at you. Your breathing is even and your coloring is almost back to normal. Just to make sure, I reach out and feel your forehead. It's more or less normal now. Your body was probably just adapting to the temperature. Satisfied that you're fine, I turn and set one foot after another to the ground. The mattress moves due to my weight, because I _do _weigh something, just a little lighter than you in fact. You groan. I look back at you, but apparently you're still asleep. I sigh and move to the floor. I move the mouse and enter my screensaver password. Again, I am bombarded with my windows, full of text, icons, pictures, numbers… I feel this weight in my chest pulling me down. This is boring right now. But who knows. Something might come up. I can only hope so.

--

**A/N:** Uh yeah. I'm sure this 'watching you when you sleep' idea has been done somewhere. (Has anyone realized that DN has over 10,000 fics now?! **OVER **TEN THOUSAND!) But I wanted to write it anyway XD Did you guys get the idea in the author's note above? L doesn't realize he uh, _cares_ for Light… Even in taking care of him since he's kind of sick, he's not aware of actually 'taking care' of him. Sort of like instinct. **But he always watches Light sleep.** Aside from that, there are a lot of details here and there that imply that L really does _love_ Light too. Did you guys notice? You gotta squint for some :)

Is Light OOC? I thought that he was just really groggy, so he wouldn't be himself. Sort of half on auto-pilot, half sleep walking. Consider that he has been awake for three days and hardly slept for… well, for really long :)

Ah well… I just wanted to write. I don't know if this was any good. It was just a random thought and before I knew it, I was typing like mad. I have a deadline today and look at what I'm doing?! I am so DEAD. Ah well, I can't concentrate when I haven't finished a story so there! Please leave me a review neh? Convince me that this wasn't a waste of time? If it was, then how can I improve it? I hope to hear from y'all! XD

_**Sunday**_

P.S. **Another Disclaimer**: the 'breathing in what you breathe out' thing… I got it from a song. 'Gemini' by Spongecola. It's a local band here, so don't feel bad if any of you don't know it :)


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